helloooo

Well I stumbled across this little blog of mine today after a couple months of craziness, I've decided to rip the band aide and start again. I can't even begin to explain where I have been these past 5 months. I'm learned a lot, taken a few steps back, taken a few forward, and mostly just seen what it is to really NEED God.

I've been heartbroken.

Many times.

Over.

And.

Over.

I feel that would be my story of the past five months. I feel like my heart has been pulled out of my chest; crushed and trampled.

Lesson 1- I've realized the concept of "normality" - there is none. There is no such thing as normal, God remains the same while everything around us is ever changing. It is NOT okay to place ourself in the hands of worldly things that change.

I've tried to find happiness in this world. I've tried to find myself in others. I've feared others opinion rather than feared what God has commanded. I've made decisions based on what others would want. I've seen temptation, looked it dead in the eye and made the conscious decision to pursuit "it" rather then "Him".

I could go on and on how I've failed God. I fail him every single day.

"I can't brag about my love for God because my love for Him fails daily. I can brag about His love for me though, it NEVER fails."

Thankfully all my posts end up boiling down to the fact that God loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. Regardless of what I do, have done, will do. My journey these past couple months seem like they have been long and really weigh on my heart. More posts to come on how God is moving in my life and what He is revealing to me in this season.

Had to Share

Are you a trader?

Are you normal? Or are you weird?

Jehovah Jireh- God our Provider

This past week I've been sick and at times super weak, every time I'd go to write this post it would never turn out like I hoped, so here I go. Hopefully this reveals something to you, if nothing else it has really ministered to me.

My goal for this blog, sense the very beginning, has been transparency. I don’t have everything together. I’m messed-up and screwed up. Yes I’m a Christian, I passionately seek the Lord, I run after Him daily, but I’m not perfect. It’s not easy to admit, but through reading this passage the Lord revealed to me how faithless I can be, how sometimes I can laugh at His promises, and yes, even doubt His mightiness.

Reading through the story of Abraham and Sarah I saw how the Lord is a miracle worker. Even when we don’t deserve it, He works miracles and provides us with the desires in our heart. Even when we laugh in His face promising us something that seems impossible, He provides.

These are verses from Genesis 11-17

The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing."

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me.”

God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.”

Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”

Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.” When he had finished speaking with Abraham, God went up from him.

So basically whenever I use to read this passage I would think. Wow, that’s great that the Lord did that. How great that Sarah would have a kid. Wow cool God. And that is where I would stop and move on to Genesis 18. But, when I truly stopped and read it, and appreciated it, I realized, God just provided the IMPOSSIBLE! Sarah's pregnancy was truly miraculous; she had been trying to get pregnant for so many years without success, but when she put her faith in God's word, the impossible became possible. In the physical her case looked hopeless, but little did she know that God was preparing her for an exceptional miracle.

Sarah and Abraham (a great follow of God) laughed about God’s faithfulness, yet God provided. Abraham being the man of God that he was, doubted God for all that He promised. This spoke to me, because God could reveal and provide us with so stinkin much but we have a tendency to put God in a little box and expect Him to only provide us with what we need, not what we desire. FALSE! This is so false, it says in the bible, delight in ME (meaning the Lord) and I will give you the desires of your heart, because it is I would created those desires.

God is not human, and has no human characteristic, He is able to do exceeding more than we can imagine. But, like Sarah, we don’t really expect God to work crazy miraculous things through us.

Like Sarah, we limit God’s abilities, and when He reveals something amazing to us, we laugh and doubt that He can provide such a thing. FAULT. One of God’s many names is Jehovah Jireh- God our Provider. He can provide so much more that we could ever imagine. His plan for our life is better than the best we could ever even imagine it.

So this is my desire. That we let God out of our boxes. That we let Him provide us with more than we need, but what we desire. Key # 1 to do this is, stop limiting God. When He speaks, listen, follow, and surrender. Number 2, never expect less than miraculous. Our God is in the business of miracles, He does only heal, restore, part seas, walk on water, gives sight to the blind, etc. Give Him the power He deserves and He will do exceedingly more than you could ever imagine. Even when it seems impossible!

“If the vision you have for your future isn’t intimidating to you, there is a real good chance it is insulting to God.” –Pastor Steven Furtick

-Be Blessed

temptation.

"Moses said to Israel, "Anything made of gold, silver, bronze, iron, tin, or lead-that is, metals that do not burn-must be passed through fire in order to be made ceremonially pure" (Numbers 31:22-23). Nothing is acceptable to God unless it has been passed through the fire. Temptation proves the quality of your "metal." Though Jesus was severely tempted by the devil, He came forth as purest gold."

Christian or Non-Christian temptation will come your way. Jesus never promises His followers a temptation-free ride. He does promise someone to guide you through the temptation. That is why He sent His son, to express His love and to show us how even His son underwent temptation.

I think it is so easy to live day to day with the mentality that because we live in the type of world that we do that we aren't half as bad as the people around us. It is easy to fall into the habit of thinking that even the worst thing you've ever done isn't nearly as bad as what some people do daily. We compare ourselves to other people. This is flawed because people are not flawless. Jesus is the only blameless person to ever have walked the earth. Jesus, also calls us to follow Him, and deny ourselves of things of the world. He says this so we can grow in Him, and become more and more like Him... and less and less like the world.

Jesus went through ALL of the temptations that we face, and more. He knows exactly what we go through first hand because He has experienced it all.

I once heard a quote, "a diamond has to undergo extreme pressure, and pain to shine and shimmer brilliantly." It has stuck with me because it always reminds me that whatever the circumstances God has you in right now is for a purpose.

Lukewarm

1. Lukewarm people attend church fairly regularly. It is what is expected of them, what they believe “good Christians” do, so they go. Isaiah 29:13

2. Lukewarm people give money to charity and to the church as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so, After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right? 1 Chronicles 21:24, Luke 21:1-4

3. Lukewarm people tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside of church; they care more about what people think of their actions (like church attendance and giving) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives. Luke 6:26, Revelation 3:1, Matthew 23:5-7 4.

4. Lukewarm people don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don’t genuinely hate sin and aren’t truly sorry for it; they’re merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don’t really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one. John 10:10, Romans 6:1-2.

5. Lukewarm people are moved by stories of people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for “extreme” Christians, not average ones. Lukewarm people call “radical” what Jesus expected of all His followers. James 1:22, James 4:17, Matthew 21:28-31

6. Lukewarm people rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion. Matthew 10:32-33

7. Lukewarm people gauge their morality or “goodness” by comparing themselves to the secular world. They feel satisfied that while they aren’t as hard-core for Jesus as so-and-so, they are nowhere as horrible as the guy down the street. Luke 18:11

8. Lukewarm people say they love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives, their money, and their thoughts, but he isn’t allowed to control their lives. Luke 9:57-62

9. Lukewarm people love God, but they do not love Him with all their heart, soul, and strength. They would be quick to assure you they try to love God that much, but that sort of total devotion isn’t really possible for the average person; its only for pastors and missionaries and radicals. Matthew 22:37-38

10. Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love for others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is a little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them, who kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward or uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached. Matthew 5:43-47, Luke 14:12-14

11. Lukewarm people will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give. Luke 18:21-25

12.Lukewarm people think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is mostly focused on today’s to-do list, this week’s schedule, and next month’s vacation. Rarely, if ever do they intently consider the life to come. Philippians 3:18

13. Lukewarm people are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor. Matthew 25:34, 40, Isaiah 58:6-7

14. Lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty. They want to do the bare minimum, to be “good enough” without requiring too much of them. 1 Chronicles 29:14, Matthew 13:44-46

15. Lukewarm people are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control. This focus on safe living keeps them sacrificing and risking for God. Matthew 10:28

16. Lukewarm people feel secure because they attend church, made a profession of faith at age twelve, were baptized, come from a Christian family, vote Republican, or live in America.

17. Luke warm people do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don’t have to trust God if something unexpected happens-they have their savings account. They don’t need God to help them—they have their retirement plan in place. They don’t genuinely seek out what life God would have them live—they have life figured and mapped out. They don’t depend on God on a daily basis-their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God. Luke 12:16-21

18. Lukewarm people probably drink and swear less than average, but besides that, they really aren’t very different from your typical unbeliever. They equate their partially sanitized lives with holiness, but they couldn’t be more wrong. Matthew 23:25-28, Luke 14:34-35

“Cold water we drink, with Hot Water we cook, but Lukewarm does nothing. It just sits and it looks.” -Lecrae... Lukewarm faith gets you no where!

don't settle..

don't settle for bread and butter

when God has prepared a six-course dinner for you!

It seems so easy to settle for bread and butter. Especially when your out to eat with friends and everyone is eating bread and butter. BUT you know that your amazing dinner will be out shortly you just have to be willing to wait. Getting full before your meal won't allow you to truly enjoy it!

This is actually going somewhere. It is just like purity.

God promises us the best. We just have to be willing to wait.

DON'T SETTLE!

This is a huge issue that I struggle with. I have a hard time comprehending that the Lord has planned my life out already. I just have to be willing to trust Him, and in His time He will reveal His perfect plan to me. I have made it a point to not settle anymore! :)

the LORD will...

Sometimes I question God..

I am human, and I guess that means that I need to see something to believe it. This is a scary thought for me. I purposefully named this blog, "Walk by Faith.. Not by Sight." Believing and trusting in my heavenly father is the bases of my relationship with Him.

So when I begin to question Him and His motives I begin to feel as though I'm taking steps back-ward rather than forward in my daily relationship with Him. Jesus the One who calls me by name, the One who knows the hairs on my head, the One who created me and knew me before I was even conceived. Yet I question..

Why is this so hard? Why is it so hard to just blindly follow?

Sometimes when things don't turn out like I had hoped and my plan doesn't unravel like I had hoped. I begin to question... The thing that I love about God is He doesn't follow my plan.(THANK YOU JESUS) He has the perfect plan for my life. He has created me to prosper and have hope, not to have a future filled with fear and worrying. Thank goodness I don't plan my life. When I try and imagine what my future will be like, I love thinking God will out-do me. God assumes me that I can't even/ever will be able to imagine the many wonderful things He has in store for me!

So on those small moments that I begin to question, I realize, for His glory, for His purpose, for His plan is the best plan.

I personally don't think that questioning is bad, God is a big God and can handle questions, but to doubt is a different story. God never intends for hurt to come upon us. "God is still God, and God is still good." Circumstances can't control our relationship. Rather our relationship controls us in these circumstances.

"the Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.."

JUST A THOUGHT...

well i just wanted to share with you one of my favorite things! being away from home i miss this so much! this was my breakfast literally every single day over the summer after my uncle introduced this wonderful little invention to me. and obviously liking it so much i'm going to tell you all about it! it's made of instant oats (don't let it scare you, i know it seems a little odd, BUT super good I promise :) vanilla, milk, banana, and yogurt. IT'S SO GOOD. and i bet after looking at that picture you would want it too! like i bet if i had some and asked you if you'd want to try it, i guarantee most people would! well you may be wondering why i'm telling you all this. if you think about it, we tell people how much we love our sports teams, how much we love our i-pods, how much we love our friends, etc.. so i decided to post about my favorite breakfast. well kind of, i actually am posting on how we talk about things we love, but why then is it so hard to talk about Jesus?

people question, why some people constantly talk about Jesus? why are they so crazy about Jesus? well just a little secret, cause they LOVE Him. i know, crazy, hun?

i digress; back to my breakfast... just as i told you all about it, and how much i love it. thats how God wants us to tell others about Jesus. he wants us to be able to spread our faith with everyone. he wants us to passionately explain Him to others. once we find Him, we love to share Him.

"the found people like to go find people" WOW! awesome quote. once i truly found Jesus, i went crazy. i was trying to tell every single person on the face of this earth about Him. i wanted everyone to experience His love and just all around amazingness. so this brings forth my first question for "believers"

when did you find Jesus? -if you can't answer this, i'm sorry but, you don't know Jesus. just like all important things in our life we remember dates (your birthday, your anniversary, etc..) we remember exact times. i'm not asking you what the date was when you were confirmed, or when you were baptized as a little baby. i'm asking when you meet Jesus, truly met Jesus. When you first experienced Him, and His unconditional love. You would know if you've met Him because your life would never be the same. So with that said, question number 2..

who have you introduced to Jesus? -like before, when i told you about my favorite breakfast, i like it so much i wanted to share it with you. the same holds true to Jesus. once you meet Him, you want to share Him.

^{Romans 10:14}

¹⁴ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

after i met Jesus i felt completely alone. i felt like Jesus was playing a sick and twisted joke on me. it was almost as if i was told to do the impossible. but as i truly thought about it i began to come to the realization that it was not at all a joke. it was not a mistake! it was not a mistake i was surround by non-believers. its never been so clear to me as it is now. i was the light God gave to my non-believing friends. i was the light in what seemed like an endless darkness. Jesus has taught me what it truly means to tell people about His love. Jesus has truly taught me how to lean on Him, and Him alone. He has shown me what how, "you never know how stronger you can be until you have no other choice than to be strong." He taught me how HE iS ALL i NEED! i am forever thankful.

if you feel like this post or any of my posts make you want to know Jesus as i've explained i'd love to pray for you with you/with you. please comment or get ahold of me!

xoxo

ashley

p.s. happy thanksgiving :)

[emptiness]

"In every person's heart, there is a void - an empty place that can only be filled by one thing. Each of us goes through life seeking and searching for that one perfect fit, that thing that will fill the void. Many try to substitute other things, money, drugs, careers, relationships, fame. Many seek fulfillment through mystical, religious or occult practices. But these things, however attractive they seem, cannot truly satisfy that inner longing."

"The Bible teaches that only the One who made man's heart can also fill it. Not sure of your direction in life, feel empty, lacking purpose? Let Jesus in.."

this use to be the BIGGEST issue I had before finding Christ. it seemed like I was living for everything but Him. and when I hit bottom is when I found Him. You don't realize how much you need Christ until the only thing you have is Christ!

trick or treat?

well its that wonderful time of year again.. halloween. if you know me at all you know halloween is not at the top of my list for "favorite holidays" i jokingly say that it's the "devil's holiday" unfortunately the more time i spend thinking about it, the more i realize it truly is.

and don't get me wrong. i grew up trick or treating and had a great time, but it seems as though many people go a little over board for this "holiday"

for example, why in heavens name would we celebrate scariness? why would we dress up little innocent children in costumes that resemble the devil and find this normal? how exactly is this fun? i have many questions about this specific day..

my number one issue is that we spend so much time/money on devil like activities. making the devil look fun or appealing. for example i went to my first actual haunted house when i was a senior in high school. yes, you read correctly, senior in high school. i have always been a bit emotional and i scream when i hear loud noises. for that reason alone i never felt the need to attend haunted houses. well regardless, back to the story... my friends decided that to celebrate this wonderful "holiday" we were all going to one of the scariest haunted houses around. after much pleading i fell to peer pressure and decided to go. note to self: BAD DECISION. needless to say i did not have a good time. i'm pretty sure i peed my pants and cried the whole entire time i was there.

we as a society have created a holiday making hell look like fun. making hell look like a decent place to go. but if you only knew!! Jesus says if you saw what hell was like, like if you just saw a few seconds or a seek peak of what hell is really like, you would be radically changed, forever. you would be so changed because you would NEVER want to go there. He says many times that He would have it that NONE shall perish but EVERYONE would have everlasting life. He would never want His precious children going there, EVER. Jesus says that if anyone does not recognize that I AM their Lord and Savior their name will not be written down in the lambs book of life and they will be thrown into the lake of fire. lake of fire... I can not imagine! that's unbelievable torture that i can not even begin to wrap my mind around.

Jesus and the disciples talk about hell 65 times in the bible where as heaven is mentioned 32 times. this is a prime example of how Jesus wants to warn everyone! i'd be lying if i said hell wasn't real. i wish i could say that but i'm not about preaching a gospel about rainbows and butterflies when truthfully the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN is at hand!!!

i remember having a conversation with a friend once. she begin to tell me how she doesn't believe in a single thing. she doesn't believe in god, jesus, heaven, hell.. nothing. she just has no belief in anything. i remember looking at her and saying, "wow! you have much more faith than i do! i would never want to bank my eternity on just not believing. when you think of the short time we spend on this earth compared to eternity (we are but a vapor here today and gone tomorrow) i could go on and on about this subject.. maybe my next post. but if you're reading this and you question if you're going to heaven or hell i'd love to pray for you. i'd love to talk to you about it. comment or message me.

trick is that this world is the be all, end all. Hate to break it to everyone who believes that, but it's not!! trick is that hell is a far away aspect..

treat is Jesus! treat is that He came to give us everlasting life with Him. treat is that he died for me, and you! treat is that Heaven is the biggest party ever. treat is HE LOVES YOU! HE THOUGHT YOU WERE WORTH DYING FOR!!!

-xoxoxox sorry for the bluntness of this post

:)

changed. forever.

at times these lyrics just pop into my head. they so accurately express my feelings. for almost a year straight i would close my eyes at night and would think maybe i was going crazy. everyone around me certainly thought i was. after experiencing Jesus for the first time i was changed. forever. i didn't change who i was because that is what i was suppose to do to become "religious". or i didn't change who i was to be apart of the religion. and i didn't even change who i was to please God. i changed because i was in love. these past 3 years have been the most unbelievable years of my short 18 ( almost 19;) ) years of my life. when i see where I was to where Jesus has brought me in just 3 short years i'm in complete awe, and amazement. every time i begin to think i am as close to Jesus as i can get, He comes along and show me i have so much left to learn. i'm thankful He's made Himself so apparent in my life. Though everyone may still think i'm crazy, you're probably right, crazy for Jesus, & i wouldn't want it any other way!

you will love one and hate the other... always.

As much as I and I know so many of us wish, it is impossible to love this world and love Christ.

The very first level of Christianity is the denial of all of your desires (things of this world) and giving yourself completely to Christ. No one can serve two masters, you will hate one and love the other.. every time. True love for the Lord means true hatred for sin. In Matthew 7 and Luke 13, Jesus says, "many will be telling Him on that day that He is actually the Lord of their life but He will say to them, depart from me for I never knew you." How much that breaks my heart! That so many of us have in our mind that heaven is where we are headed, but really think about it.. Is the owner of heaven your best friend? Have you told him all about yourself? How close is your relationship?

So, how long would it take you to walk up to an apple tree and with apples all over it, for you to say that the tree is an apple tree? A good tree can not bare bad fruit and a bad tree can not bare good fruit, that's what Jesus said. This concept is perfectly described in one of my favorite verses. Jesus said, I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him bares much fruit. For without Me, you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and will wither and die. They will gather them and throw them into the fire. I know this is an abstract view; imagine, what do you think your fruit is like? What kind of fruit do you bear?

So that seems to be the main question, who rules your life? Because like stated before one will always prevail. Is it Christ or the enemy?