Day #4

We had the giggles today...

We played weird games all day... and just laughed.  I hate when the weekend is over because I actually dislike taking them to school on monday when I have breaks. I wish they could stay home everyday and entertain me ;)  I really feel blessed that I get to do life with these 3

365

I've always really enjoy making new years resolutions. This year I've set many goals- become more organized, do phenomenal in school, volunteer with special needs, eat healthier, become healthier all together, grow spiritually, lean on God like never before, blog more, read more, esp. the Bible, and TRUST in God's timing. I think that it's great to set goals, and even greater to achieve them. In hopes to blog more this year I'm planning on doing a picture a day. We'll see how this goes, I have high hopes. Not than this blog is too popular, I don't expect people to even read this. It's more for me and a great way to look back and view personal/spiritual growth :)

Unanswered Prayers

God's plan is bigger then my plan.

God's grace is bigger then my mistakes.

God's love is bigger then my comprehension.

These past few months I have been understanding deeper that my picture is part of a bigger picture. My life is not my own. My thoughts are not my thoughts. His ways are bigger and better than even my best. So for that reason alone, I am thankful and blessed for unanswered prayers. I'm so thankful that I don't plan my future on what I think is best. My favorite prayer is thanking God for allowing His plan to supersede my foolish thoughts of what I need. He knows my heart. He knows my whole heart better then I even I do..

So often with unanswered prayers I learn more of God's love for me then when I receive what I think I want. I don't know what is best for me. That is what I learn daily. That I must die to my desires, DAILY, to understand God's unwavering love.

Though it is hard to admit my prayers are so often for my selfish desires. I so often find myself praying for things that would bring me what I want, rather then what God wants. I know that God only wants the best for me, so why do I tend to think that if I pray with self-seeking motives I will get what I desire?

This is a learning process for me and I'm thankful that Jesus doesn't look at me any differently. He loves me the same. He gave Himself for me, I'm gearing my praying to what HE wants from my life. Not what I want.

reFlectIon

I guess I am coming to an age where I can look back at my past and see how it has impacted my future. How my yesterdays have impacted my tomorrows. How my tomorrows will soon become my future. I can look back and see all the little pieces you have made work together for my good. And appreciate them, even the ones that I did not appreciate at the time. I can see all the little pieces that have formed me. I can see how they fell into place, how by God's grace even the ugly pieces have been made beautiful. I can see how He has the bigger picture. I have the smaller pieces and I want to limit my picture. I want a little picture, but my God has a big, beautiful, amazing, breathtaking picture. I love having His will, and picture revealed to me. Today I sit in amazement at how my picture has fallen. How my pieces have fallen so strategically and not by chance or ironically, but by My God's perfect hand.

Thank you Lord for having the bigger picture and not listening to my begging calls to fix the little pieces.

Thank you for not listening to me. I don't know what to wear in the morning let alone what is best for myself. Though I claim to know what I need, I don't. Thank you for knowing my every single little need and fulfilling.

Lord, you are so sovereign and merciful. Thank you.

Your love never fails, and I need You.

Jehovah Jireh- God our Provider

This past week I've been sick and at times super weak, every time I'd go to write this post it would never turn out like I hoped, so here I go. Hopefully this reveals something to you, if nothing else it has really ministered to me.

My goal for this blog, sense the very beginning, has been transparency. I don’t have everything together. I’m messed-up and screwed up. Yes I’m a Christian, I passionately seek the Lord, I run after Him daily, but I’m not perfect. It’s not easy to admit, but through reading this passage the Lord revealed to me how faithless I can be, how sometimes I can laugh at His promises, and yes, even doubt His mightiness.

Reading through the story of Abraham and Sarah I saw how the Lord is a miracle worker. Even when we don’t deserve it, He works miracles and provides us with the desires in our heart. Even when we laugh in His face promising us something that seems impossible, He provides.

These are verses from Genesis 11-17

The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing."

Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the LORD judge between you and me.”

God also said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her.”

Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!”

Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. But my covenant I will establish with Isaac, whom Sarah will bear to you by this time next year.” When he had finished speaking with Abraham, God went up from him.

So basically whenever I use to read this passage I would think. Wow, that’s great that the Lord did that. How great that Sarah would have a kid. Wow cool God. And that is where I would stop and move on to Genesis 18. But, when I truly stopped and read it, and appreciated it, I realized, God just provided the IMPOSSIBLE! Sarah's pregnancy was truly miraculous; she had been trying to get pregnant for so many years without success, but when she put her faith in God's word, the impossible became possible. In the physical her case looked hopeless, but little did she know that God was preparing her for an exceptional miracle.

Sarah and Abraham (a great follow of God) laughed about God’s faithfulness, yet God provided. Abraham being the man of God that he was, doubted God for all that He promised. This spoke to me, because God could reveal and provide us with so stinkin much but we have a tendency to put God in a little box and expect Him to only provide us with what we need, not what we desire. FALSE! This is so false, it says in the bible, delight in ME (meaning the Lord) and I will give you the desires of your heart, because it is I would created those desires.

God is not human, and has no human characteristic, He is able to do exceeding more than we can imagine. But, like Sarah, we don’t really expect God to work crazy miraculous things through us.

Like Sarah, we limit God’s abilities, and when He reveals something amazing to us, we laugh and doubt that He can provide such a thing. FAULT. One of God’s many names is Jehovah Jireh- God our Provider. He can provide so much more that we could ever imagine. His plan for our life is better than the best we could ever even imagine it.

So this is my desire. That we let God out of our boxes. That we let Him provide us with more than we need, but what we desire. Key # 1 to do this is, stop limiting God. When He speaks, listen, follow, and surrender. Number 2, never expect less than miraculous. Our God is in the business of miracles, He does only heal, restore, part seas, walk on water, gives sight to the blind, etc. Give Him the power He deserves and He will do exceedingly more than you could ever imagine. Even when it seems impossible!

“If the vision you have for your future isn’t intimidating to you, there is a real good chance it is insulting to God.” –Pastor Steven Furtick

-Be Blessed

the process

Our Story: Wade Joye from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

pause the music at the bottom of the page :)

Psalm 27

Wait on the LORD, be strong, & take heart.

Between the the promise that God makes you, and the pay-off, is when God fulfill that promise. There is a PROCESS, and that process that God takes you through is the point. Because it is in that process when you are waiting on God, that you can really and fully draw closer to the LORD. Waiting is not a glamours spiritual discipline, waiting is hard in our culture, but it is in those seasons of waiting that you can cling to Jesus when everything else around you is falling apart.

Our Story: "My Deliverer" from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

Psalm 32

The Psalm of David.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths

for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and staff

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil,

my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

forever.

My Savior

Can I get an amen to that! Jesus is my SAVIOR! not my religion. One of the most amazing things about Jesus is He doesn't want my religion. My church is currently doing a series called "Jesus is.." so I will be doing another post on a summary of that, but for now I wanted to share this. Jesus wants my/your relationship. I could speak theological madness for hours on end till I'm blue in the face, but that's not want Jesus seeks and expects.

It says so clearly in the Bible that Jesus wants our heart. This is sometimes difficult for me. I sometimes feel as if I have to memorize bible verses, and study the bible. And by no means, don't get me wrong, those are great things to do! But, Jesus clearly states that on the day of judgement people who believe that they are going to go to heaven will hear Jesus say to them, "depart from me, for I never knew you." Though I'm obviously not Jesus, and I really have no idea, I would speculate that those people, would be those who did not have a relationship with Christ. I would speculate, that those would be people in church who were just going through the motions. Those people who never truly surrendered their life to Christ.

When I saw this picture it reminded me so much of my upbringing in church. I was raised in a church where I felt like Jesus wanted my religion, not my relationship. Because of this I never experienced Jesus. I went to church 17 years and never as much as felt like Jesus was anything tangible or anything real at all.

Through those 17 years there was a void in my life only Jesus could satisfy. Without knowing Him, I searched for Him in all the wrong places. Mostly, in empty relationships. When all those failed I always would wonder why; I would try and complete myself through other people.

When Jesus is the only one who could ever complete me.

So once I met Jesus for the first time I realize that He was real! That He cared about me, He wanted what is best for me, that He loves me. That He wants my relationship, not my religion. He wanted me, not my knowledge about Him. He wants me to seek Him. To love Him. To glorify Him.

God is STILL God, God is STILL good!

Wow, I have been changed from the testimonies of these individuals. God has taken tragedy in their life, and created a way for them to have triumph! God has taken their horrific story and made it beautiful. He has reviled Himself and is still faithful. I aspire to have faith like Erik, Matthew, Zac, and Mandy.

This first story is of Mandy & Zac. Watch in order :)

The Story of Zac Smith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Letter to Zac from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

A Story | Tears of Hope from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

Jeremiah 29:11 God promises, "I have great and mighty plans for you, plans for you to proser and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.

One thing that I'm always reminded by that verse is if it's not good yet, God's not done!

Through our weakness our faith become's so apparent. Under struggles and persecution God calls us to be leaders in faith and give Him glory. My prayers are with Erik, Matt, and Mandy as God guides them in their walk with Him. I pray that under persecution I can stand for he Lord in such a way as they!

This is the unique relationship of Matt and Erik. God has truly orchestrated this relationship.

A Story | Big Picture Faith from NewSpring Media on Vimeo.

May the Lord continue to work in their lives. Bring healing, provide power on the days that they seem powerless. May their testimonies continue to show the Lord's love.

-xox <3

if you enjoyed this i encourage you to check out this amazing service in it's entirety on NewSpring Churches website. Just click HERE <--- to watch this service!

Romans 8:38-39

Somedays I wake up, and wish that Jesus came to give us peace on earth. You know those days where you wake up and wish the previous day was a dream. That what happened really didn't happen and things were "normal"

Under percussion Jesus trains us to depend on Him. I truly believe that though things on this earth may not make sense and things may seem terrible, I honestly believe that He can give us peace in our hearts. I have been in many different situations where I question what Jesus is doing. I'd be lying if I said that I don't question God. I think that God is okay with our questioning because I know that on the day that we do finally get to see Him face to face He will answer any questions we have.

James 1:2-4

Consider it joy, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

I have a friend who is undergoing a terrible time in her family. Her sister has relapsed with Leukemia for the 3rd time. I look to this family and question how they have such wonderful faith in the Lord. After the unbelievably hard times they deal with they face everything positively and have full faith in recovery and healing thru the Lord. They are always saying, "God is good"

1 Thessalonians 5:18

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ

When my great-grandma was diagnosed with cancer I questioned what God was doing. Even before Jesus' death He looked up to heaven and asked if God had forsaken him... And though I did not question long, I did. That is when the Lord put on my heart that our time here is but a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow. Like the season, things come and go. Whatever we are undergoing too shall pass. There is smiling, crying, anger, happiness, sadness, birth, and death.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us and eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I truly believe that the Lord can give us rest. He quiets my heart when my mind will not stop. He alone is where I find refuge. He always is the light in the darkness, and I know that He is the one who can fill me up with unconditional love constantly. He is the most constant and unswerving thing in my life. That's why I believe that in good times we should rejoice and be happy. Don't find issues in small things because actual issues will soon arise.

Romans 8:38-39

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

god is good

God is so good! yesterday, today, tomorrow!

nothing compares to His love, all else pales in comparison.

forever I will sing of his greatness

because He is the light of my world.

He will always be enough

MY HEART WILL SING, NO OTHER NAME.. JESUS, JESUS!

I wish I could spend everyday in complete worship. At the foot of the cross is where I see all I need and all I could ever want. I belong to the most High and for that reason alone is the reason that I stand for Him. I gave my life to Him because He gave His son to me.

MY HEART WILL SING, NO OTHER NAME.. JESUS, JESUS!

God is good in every circumstance! In the darkest of dark He is still faithful. It is easy to be happy with God when everything goes your way and everything is going well but it is the true test of faith when things are tough, difficult, and unbearable.

JUST A THOUGHT...

well i just wanted to share with you one of my favorite things! being away from home i miss this so much! this was my breakfast literally every single day over the summer after my uncle introduced this wonderful little invention to me. and obviously liking it so much i'm going to tell you all about it! it's made of instant oats (don't let it scare you, i know it seems a little odd, BUT super good I promise :) vanilla, milk, banana, and yogurt. IT'S SO GOOD. and i bet after looking at that picture you would want it too! like i bet if i had some and asked you if you'd want to try it, i guarantee most people would! well you may be wondering why i'm telling you all this. if you think about it, we tell people how much we love our sports teams, how much we love our i-pods, how much we love our friends, etc.. so i decided to post about my favorite breakfast. well kind of, i actually am posting on how we talk about things we love, but why then is it so hard to talk about Jesus?

people question, why some people constantly talk about Jesus? why are they so crazy about Jesus? well just a little secret, cause they LOVE Him. i know, crazy, hun?

i digress; back to my breakfast... just as i told you all about it, and how much i love it. thats how God wants us to tell others about Jesus. he wants us to be able to spread our faith with everyone. he wants us to passionately explain Him to others. once we find Him, we love to share Him.

"the found people like to go find people" WOW! awesome quote. once i truly found Jesus, i went crazy. i was trying to tell every single person on the face of this earth about Him. i wanted everyone to experience His love and just all around amazingness. so this brings forth my first question for "believers"

when did you find Jesus? -if you can't answer this, i'm sorry but, you don't know Jesus. just like all important things in our life we remember dates (your birthday, your anniversary, etc..) we remember exact times. i'm not asking you what the date was when you were confirmed, or when you were baptized as a little baby. i'm asking when you meet Jesus, truly met Jesus. When you first experienced Him, and His unconditional love. You would know if you've met Him because your life would never be the same. So with that said, question number 2..

who have you introduced to Jesus? -like before, when i told you about my favorite breakfast, i like it so much i wanted to share it with you. the same holds true to Jesus. once you meet Him, you want to share Him.

^{Romans 10:14}

¹⁴ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?

after i met Jesus i felt completely alone. i felt like Jesus was playing a sick and twisted joke on me. it was almost as if i was told to do the impossible. but as i truly thought about it i began to come to the realization that it was not at all a joke. it was not a mistake! it was not a mistake i was surround by non-believers. its never been so clear to me as it is now. i was the light God gave to my non-believing friends. i was the light in what seemed like an endless darkness. Jesus has taught me what it truly means to tell people about His love. Jesus has truly taught me how to lean on Him, and Him alone. He has shown me what how, "you never know how stronger you can be until you have no other choice than to be strong." He taught me how HE iS ALL i NEED! i am forever thankful.

if you feel like this post or any of my posts make you want to know Jesus as i've explained i'd love to pray for you with you/with you. please comment or get ahold of me!

xoxo

ashley

p.s. happy thanksgiving :)

Blessed, Blessed, Blessed

Sorry it has taken me so long to actually post this.. I was looking through my drafts and came across this and just never got around to posting, so enjoy! :)

To say that I'm blessed is such an understatement! I'm so so so happy with life! I've been happier this summer than I have ever. I think that I enjoyed it because there was not a single free moment. I had prayed that the Lord would consume with people that needed me so that my mind could not wonder to the stresses of going to school, leaving friends, family, etc. He pulled through by blessing me and allowing me to spend my days with the sweetest 12 little boys!

Working at a summer school for special education students brightens and warms my heart more than I can express through words alone. I wish saying that they were a handful could accurately describe half the situations that would go on in our little 10x12 classroom. They have their own schedule, their own idea of right and wrong, and their own plans. They've taught me the true meaning of patience!

These little friends and all the ones that I have met along the way have radically changed me. I believe that Jesus put them into my life to show me what His love is like. I had prayed and prayed to know His love. Christ's unconditional love is something that has always been so hard for me to grasp and fully understand but I feel as though I understand a fraction of His love after meeting my friends. They have taught me the meaning of love, joy, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control and much, much more. As I went into this summer experience, I thought I was going to help teach the students and they were going to leave at the end of the summer genius, but in the real scheme of things I left learning so much more! I love that each are so different and unique. God's children are so perfect!

PAiD iN FULL!

Today on my favorite show, Oprah, (I know I'm a old lady trapped in a teenage body) there were 2 families as guests on her show. They were talking about their financial issues and how they were no longer going to be able to live in their house because they could no longer afford the mortgage. As soon as they had told their unique stories Oprah had Will.i.am. come out on stage. As he made his way up to the families Oprah shared the news that Will.i.am wanted to pay off the rest of their mortgages. As Will.i.am got up on stage next to the families he said 3 little words that brought them to their knees, "PAID IN FULL!" The families were ecstatic, understandably so! I am a new Will.i.am fan just because he was so humble and gracious!

As I soon as I heard Will.i.am say, "Paid in full.." The first thing that came to mind was when Jesus gave His life for this world. As He died His last words were, "IT IS FINISHED!" In the Greek, Christ's cry from the cross, "It is finished!" is an accounting term, meaning that the debt had been paid in full.

I have not been given a house, but something far better. EVERLASTING LIFE! I'd rather have that any day! Thank you Jesus!

Fortunate Fool

Fortunate Fool is such an accurate description of my thankfulness! I often think how crazy blessed I am. But yet I always find a reason to be upset, a reason to be stressed, a reason to not thank Jesus for all that I have. I grew up in such a sheltered little life. At times it's hard for me to believe that thousands and thousands of people die everyday from starvation moments after I eat when I'm not even hungry. Its hard to believe that while Im typing this I am among the 12% of the worlds population that owns a computer and the 8% that have access to the internet. Its hard to believe I have more in my FRIDGE then my family of 6 could EVER eat before it spoils, I have a hard time choosing what to wear in my CLOSET, I complaining about how my mattress in my BED makes my back feel, and I live in a HOUSE!!! All of those things make me more fortunate than 75% of the worlds population. It's such a hard concept for me to get my mind around the fact that the change in my car is what 21% of the worlds population lives off of per day ($1.25/day).

I don't have AIDS, dirty water, dirt floors, a sick family, a starving family, bugs where I sleep, animals where I sleep, and I don't boil leaves, & drink the broth to keep my stomach from hurting because of hunger, & the list goes on and on..

I wish saying that "humbling" would express how I feel, but unfortunately, that don't even begin to cover the emotion. I feel blessed beyond belief that I was able to wake up this morning, put my feet on the floor, and walk, talk, and breathe! Just the first five minutes of my day are so unlike so many less fortunate. When I question why God has given me such a blessed and fortunate life I begin to think of the saying, "God doesn't give you things that you can't handle." I think that that is so true!!!! When spending time with low income, special needs, & less fortunate individuals it is quickly evident that they more then likely have a better outlook on life then I. I came across this in my sociology book, "when visiting Chennai, India it is evident that despite desperate poverty, people thrive in love and family. Why, then, are so many people in our country angry? Are material things so central to our definition of a "rich" life?" Just some thoughts to ponder ;)